I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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