hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
