dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
