We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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