i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
