i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
