I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
