it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I pour the whiskey from now on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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