I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
