It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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