Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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