So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
