Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
