More tranny stories later!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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