I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
