Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
