You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
