You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
