I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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