That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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