Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
