I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize