Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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