I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
