I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
