I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
there's paper in my vomit.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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