I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
