I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
