lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
