we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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