Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
