I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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