nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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