Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
