..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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