Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
