Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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