drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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