Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
