Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
