Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
