The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
