This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
