Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
