I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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