I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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