i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
