guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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