Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
