My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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