Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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