we're chasing vodka with high fives
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
