I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
