Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We have started to decorate penises.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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