my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
