Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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