i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
