I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
